Hardships Redefined Through Gratitude
Each generation desires better for the next generation. Sheltering offspring from struggles and hardships is an understandable but perhaps misguided aspiration for the betterment of humanity. Are we depriving our species of the strength of character derived from struggles conquered or endured when we protect our youth too much?
My Mother’s passage through the golden years includes moments of reflection, a lifetime flashing by the minds eye, pausing too often at moments of regret. She apologizes for the hard times, for not providing the finest in fashion, food and fun to my brother and me. I turn my perplexed gaze to her and see genuine agony in her eyes over alleged egregious acts that did not exist. Her comparison of today’s materialistic throwaway society to life fifty years ago has led her to warped, unrealistic conclusions.
I do not accept her unwarranted apology but instead substitute an extension of appreciation. I open her eyes to mine with sincere gratitude for the outstanding moments of parental performance as well as those imperfect attempts that didn’t go as well as expected. Growing up in the 1960’s and 70’s, I had more than some and less than others. No matter the circumstances my parents always provided enough of everything that was truly important.
As a child, the latest greatest toy taking the world by storm was not guaranteed to be in my possession. I did not shop in high end clothing stores and wear designer clothing. Thank you for teaching me the ridiculousness of wasting money on nothing more than a name on a label.
My closet was modestly filled with adequate attire. Mimicking the look of movie stars and music idols was not within my realm of possibility. Thank you for demonstrating how to be my own person rather than merely the reflection of someone else.
Though professional guidance on how to deal with my hair would have been nice, vanity was not a priority for myself or my peers. No one was walking around with a camera, selfies had not been born and daily posting to social media was nonexistent. Thank you for showing me that outward appearances are less important than inner beauty and that I am not the center of the universe.
Fine dining was a luxury we could not afford. Eating out was rare. Meals sometimes consisted of an odd combination of the only items found in the cupboards like pancakes and bologna. Thank you for educating me on how to make the most of what I have and live within my means.
As a young man in the early 1960’s, Dad once cleaned out a chicken coop for $8 to buy groceries for his family. He proudly did what needed to be done. Thank you for instilling within me a strong work ethic and knowledge of the value of sacrifice.
How difficult it must have been for you to allow us to fall. Waiting for us to pick ourselves up was surely painful right up to the point when we stood up stronger and wiser than before. Great parents understand the importance of forging one’s own path. Great parents are people and people are not perfect. Much value lies within mistakes, both mine and yours.
We do our best, but sometimes it’s a swing and a miss. Failure is an opportunity for improvement, a chance to add another layer of wisdom to one’s depth of character. Do not apologize for the difficult times, for those are the times that made me more resilient. Thank you for giving me the perspective to see adversities as opportunities in disguise. Thank you for the balance between striving to achieve dreams and acceptance of the realities of life. Lift your head and be proud of having helped me become the person that I am.
Originally published at Medium.com on 3-4-2019.
