What I Wish People Knew About Migraine

My illness is not a moment, it is a lifetime. With every tick of the clock, migraine lies inside my brain invisible to your eyes. My hidden disability has no interest in your opinion. I apologize in advance for the harsh tone of my message, but you have left me no choice. You think you know me, but you are blinded by the ignorance you accept as truth. My tolerance for pain is not low. I’m not frail or weak. I can’t and don’t think myself into migraine episodes. I don’t choose a path of pain and isolation.

I walk with pain among you more often than you know. In the workplace, in the grocery store, and at social gatherings, I fight to live a life as close to normal as I can. Battle-worn and pushed to my limits, at times I must retreat to the healing darkness of seclusion. I may be absent from life as you know it, but I am fighting to return.

Let me make my situation clear for the man who told me, “If you didn’t think about it so much, maybe you wouldn’t have so many headaches.” Migraine is a biological event, not a psychological event. I can’t think myself into or out of an episode. Let me repeat this part for extra emphasis. I can’t think myself into or out of a migraine episode.

Telling me to ignore my illness is the exact opposite of good advice. The best way for me to manage my illness is to think about it every day. I control my disease by controlling exposure to my triggers. Thinking is required.

Speaking of advice, I appreciate your good intentions, but no matter what the internet or social media tells you, there is NO scientific or magical cure for migraine: not meditation, not cannabis products, not essential oils, not cream of tartar, not prayer, and not voodoo.

Some alleged cures may help ease the symptoms short term, but no known cure exists for migraine. Besides, I’m not asking you to cure my illness. I’m asking you to understand I’m doing all I can do to minimize the effect of my illness on my life and yours.

A special shout-out to cigarette smokers. Your cancer cloud doesn’t stay inside a bubble around you. It’s not a possibility that exposing me to your bad habit will harm me someday, it’s a certainty you will harm me today.

For those of you who judge me on behalf of my adherence to strict routines, I have a message for you, too. My disciplined lifestyle exists not because I am uptight and inflexible. My deliberate nature is my offensive strategy to keep me in the game of life. I know migraine is coming for me again, so I prepare. Over the last 5 decades, I’ve learned my triggers and studied my illness. I maintain routines and avoid exposure to my known triggers to keep functioning beside you.

I am well-armed with knowledge, medication, and determination to defend myself against migraine’s attempt to control my life. You’re not obligated to extend a helping hand to me. Do not, however, stand in my way.

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Originally published at WebMD.com on 2-7-22.