How I Learned to Advocate for Myself as a Migraine Warrior

I am many things – a wife, a cat mom, a retired accountant, a writer, a migraine warrior, and a caregiver for my mom. I help Mom with doctor appointments and household chores so she can maintain independent living for as long as possible. I am on call to be her advocate 24/7, 365 days a year.

Advocating for someone I love is much easier for me than standing up for myself, especially during a migraine episode. Maybe I hesitate to defend myself because the migraine attack takes most of my energy, leaving me with little left in the tank to fight for my well-being. Or perhaps the migraine’s desire for quiet, dark solitude causes me to retreat.

Over the decades, I’ve had to learn to advocate for myself, whether I like it or not. Standing up for myself has become an important part of my migraine management plan. The process I followed to get where I am today started with acquiring knowledge. From there, I moved to educating the people around me and gradually developed confidence in my ability to live with my illness.

Knowledge

The first step in advocating for myself involved learning as much as possible about migraine. Knowing my illness by name shined a light on what I was up against, making it easier to be self-supportive. I asked a lot of questions, read articles and books, connected with other migraine warriors, and studied my own version of migraine. My unique pattern of triggers surfaced, and I learned how to avoid a lot of those triggers. Trial and error led to understanding which treatment methods work for me and which ones don’t.

Migraine has never been all in my head. Migraine is a recurrent, episodic, neurological disorder with which I must live. Arming myself with information is my responsibility. I’ve said this before, but I think it’s worth mentioning again. I cannot educate others about migraine illness until I first educate myself.

Educate Others

Migraine warriors often face judgment from people who base their opinions on misconceptions about what a migraine is. Many don’t understand the comprehensive impact of migraine on the life of the person who has it. When this happens, put self-pity on the back burner. Focus on using the situation as an opportunity to teach.

Educating others about the basic facts of migraine illness generates more understanding and compassion for our plight. This is how I have developed a strong support system at home and at work. The people around me need to know that the enemy I fight is real. Most people want to learn how to help.

Confidence

The most important aspect of advocating for myself is confidence. Migraine disease is not my fault. I do everything I can to minimize the impact of my illness on my life and the lives of those around me. I know my enemy, and I know how to do my best to put migraine in its place.

The last time I went to the ER with a migraine, I refused narcotics that I knew would knock me down for a whole day. Amid the pain and nausea, I confidently told them all I needed was a triptan injection. I feared I might offend the medical staff by telling them what to do, but instead, they appreciated that I knew my illness. We made a good team, and migraine didn’t stand a chance.

Giving people the benefit of the doubt and advocating for myself in times of pain and frustration is hard, but worth the effort. Try it next time. You might be surprised by the confidence you build in yourself and the support you get in return from others.

Tap into a community of fellow migraineurs on Facebook. Learn, share, and connect in our Migraine Support Community.

Originally published at WebMD.com on 9-18-23.