Advocating for Migraine Warriors
“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” – English Proverb
Developers began building my neighborhood in 2018 and hired a management company in 2022 to oversee the collection of homeowners’ association dues, maintain common areas, and act as a neutral party between residents and the developers. In 2024, developers completed the neighborhood and turned control of the HOA over to the residents.
Some of my neighbors approached the situation with zealous enthusiasm and made angry accusations. They accused the developers and the management company of hiding costly details, lying to us, and misusing our money. Nobody wins with an aggressive ‘us against them’ mentality.
What does this have to do with advocating for migraine warriors? More than you might think. Advocating for any group of people is most effective if you follow a few simple guidelines.
1. Don’t lead with anger.
This can be hard for migraine warriors who have been ignored by the medical community, mistreated in the workplace, and unsupported by family members. I get it. When someone compares my migraine to an average headache or doesn’t see how hard I’m trying to manage my illness, I get angry, too.
I must take a breath and try to remember the big picture. It’s about more than me and this person. It’s about bringing migraine awareness to as many people as possible. Anger doesn’t build compassion or help either of us make the situation better.
2. Educate people instead of accusing them.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Non-migraine warriors may say and do hurtful things out of ignorance. There’s a lot about migraine disease that I didn’t know until someone opened my eyes to the facts.
Politely turn the encounter into a teachable moment. Share information that will help them understand what a migraine really is, how you live with migraine illness, and how the disease affects millions of people.
3. Remember that everyone is different.
We aren’t exactly alike. This holds true for migraine warriors, too. I have episodic migraines set off by major and minor triggers specific to me. Triptan medicines are the best treatment for me. Others may have chronic migraines and a different list of triggers and effective treatments.
Advocating for migraine warriors means standing up for those who suffer in a different way than me. I’m quick to tell people, ‘I’m lucky.’ Many people have migraine episodes much worse than I do. Abortive solutions can vary from person to person as well. Alternative treatments do not work for me at all but can be quite effective for many people. I’m happy to promote non-medicinal methods as legitimate treatment options.
4. Listen and be supportive of both perspectives.
We all behave and react from our own place. How our role models raised us, what we know, what we have experienced, and how we feel creates our perspective of a situation. Employer vs. employee, parent vs. child, family vs. friend, the list could go on. Respectful consideration of each other applies to all scenarios.
Listen to what the other person needs from you and be honest with them about how migraine impacts their lives and yours. The more you know about each other’s perspective, the more supportive you can be for each other. If we work together as a team, everyone wins.
“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” Whether you’re advocating for residents of your neighborhood or fellow migraine warriors, hostility won’t move the group forward as much as polite, respectful interaction.
Originally published at WebMD.com on 7-22-24.
