Using Memories of Dad to Energize Positivity
June 2024 Issue
Inspirations for Better Living
Mom’s vow of “in sickness and health” was to Dad not me, but we do the best we can as a mother-daughter team. Dad passed away in 2017. Mom has adjusted well to the loss. She’s practical like that. She misses him the most when she doesn’t feel well. It’s hard for her to maintain a good attitude when her back hurts and low blood pressure makes her tired. It’s hard for me to help her when she wants to give up.
I know I won’t completely understand where she’s coming from until I arrive at the same location twenty years from now. I am trying hard to be patient and respectful. That’s tough to do when I’m prioritizing her well-being over my own life. I need to do laundry, wash dishes, pick up groceries for dinner, vacuum up a week’s worth of cat hair, draft articles, work on my book, etc. Instead, I’m waking her up at 11 a.m. and trying to convince her to eat, take her medicine, and get dressed.
She just wants to sleep and she’s crying over every little thing. If she drops something on the floor, she cries. If she can’t think of a word, she cries. If she can’t get the lid off the deodorant, she cries. I could go on. I’ve noticed she seems more confused than usual, too. I asked her if she needed to go to the doctor. Of course, that makes her cry, and now she’s angry, too. I suspect she may have a urinary tract infection again. Her kidney doctor told us confusion is often a symptom of UTI in elderly women.
To top it off, her hearing has gotten worse. We went to an audiologist a couple of weeks ago and now she has hearing aids. She hates wearing them. I love that I can talk to her again. This is what we do. She focuses on the negative and I try to swing her back around to the positive. I’m not sure which one of us is winning right now, but I don’t think it’s me.
