The Magic Diet Pill, Not
Remember those aptitude tests that we took in high school in the early 1980’s? Mine suggested bartender as a possible career choice. Turns out I’m terrible at making cocktails but I am a very good listener. A strength that comes in handy when socializing with a group of women.
I am not a girly girl. From my thought processes to my decorating style I gravitate toward the masculine. As you can imagine, socializing with a group of women generates a certain level of anxiety for me. Comparable points of view are often scarce and sometimes my approach isn’t quite delicate enough. Anxiety aside, it can be interesting, sometimes insightful and once in a blue moon I’ll find a kindred spirit. Most of the time, it’s more of a psychology exercise. The honing of my skills as an untrained therapist.
The conversations at these feminine gatherings are predictably about children, grandchildren, husbands, manicures and remembering when they were a thinner version of themselves. Not topics I can relate to since I am childless, have a great husband and can’t remember the last time my fingernails experienced anything remotely similar to a manicure.
Losing weight, however, is in my wheel house. I’ve done it before and, full disclosure, need to do a little bit of it again. Ugh! There is a secret to losing weight. Want to know what it is? It’s not a tangible item that you can purchase from a store because you already have it. You just have to tap into it and let it propel you to the finish line. Desire and determination are the keys to weight loss success.
WHAT DO YOU TRULY DESIRE?
Being honest with yourself about what you truly desire is the first step. Reflecting on memories of your thinner physique is nothing more than nostalgic wishing until you make it a priority in your life. Excuses are detours on the journey to achieving your goals, justification for maintaining your current lifestyle. The fear of failure and impending sacrifice are seeds of doubt in your mind that suggest success is unattainable.
When desire to improve your health overcomes the excuses that are standing in the way, then you will make a lifestyle change.
When you value the benefits of losing weight more than you value current behaviors that contribute to the weight gain, then you will make a lifestyle change.
If your desire to change isn’t your priority, then you are making the choice to live life as you are. Own your choice and be determined to live your life to its fullest potential.
BE DETERMINED
Weight loss is about simple math and strength of will. The number of calories you consume must be less than the number of calories your body uses. Translated to the language of food, this means you must eat more fruits and vegetables and less sugar and fats. Sorry. It is what it is. I don’t like it either.
Theoretically simple math that requires tremendous determination to achieve. Losing weight is hard work, time consuming and frustrating. It will make you angry and sad before it will make you happy and healthy.
The only passage to a thinner you is through the sacrifices and tribulations of the weight loss process. No matter what the latest diet craze claims, there is no magic elixir to bypass the difficulties and teleport you directly to a thinner body.
Sorry, again.
THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION
Of course, this lecture on how to successfully lose weight is playing out silently in my head as I sit among these women. My approach may lack a delicate touch, but I’m not stupid. To voice such bold truthfulness regarding weight issues with a group of women would be social suicide. Even worse, they might scratch my eyes out with those well-manicured nails.
Besides, it isn’t advice that they seek. They, much like myself, are looking for a place to let off steam, a group of friends to lend a compassionate ear. So, we listen to each other. I listen and remind them of how wonderful they are regardless of age, weight, the condition of their cuticles, etc. (Okay, the cuticle part is for me.) I hint about priorities and owning your choices in between their stories of children’s antics and husband troubles.
I appreciate that they let me hang out with them in spite of my lack of interest in children, salads, chick flicks and essential oils. This is how they are supportive of me. Nothing magical about it; just good old-fashioned moral support. No matter which of life’s battles they choose to fight, I’ll be there to provide support along the way whether I can relate to the problem or not.
Except for the husband issues; they might want to consult an actual therapist or at least a real bartender for those problems. All I can tell them for certain is that enchanted fairy-tales are as nonexistent as magic diet pills.
Originally published at Medium.com on 11-6-2018.
