Celebrating Christmas Without Children
Christmas time is upon us. The tree has been trimmed, the decorations are out and the quest for the perfect gifts is in full force. The aroma of freshly made candy and cookies is in the air. Christmas traditions have always been important to me.
I’m not sure why that is. Maybe it’s due to my deliberate nature. I find comfort and security in structure and routines. Traditions are comfortable. Or perhaps it’s the reflection on times gone by. Memories of home, loved ones and happiness come to life in my mind and my heart when I recreate a long-standing tradition. Just thinking about it puts a smile on my face.
As a child I was the only one in my family that truly looked forward to holiday gatherings with extended family members. The opportunity to spend time with cousins was fun and the food was outstanding. There are crazy good cooks all over my family tree. Once Grandma and Grandpa were gone, the big extended family holiday gatherings ended. The traditions naturally evolved to the next generation of grandmas and grandpas.
This is where the family holiday traditions will end for me. A difficult fate to accept for a tradition loving person. My husband and I don’t have children. We are outside of the evolutionary cycle of hosting family holiday gatherings. I have been mentally preparing for this eventuality for many years.
Having not gotten married until I was 30 years old, I experienced many holidays as a single person. The married with children crowd often openly expressing their surprise that a single person would put up a Christmas tree. A sense of pity aimed in my direction. Childless people were not expected to exhibit any symptoms of holiday spirit. What kind of weirdo was I for putting up a Christmas tree?
I have never understood the logic of this concept. Yes, Santa is all about children, but the true meaning of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I’m not overly religious, but I’m pretty sure everyone is invited to this birthday party, with or without an entourage.
Single people can and should celebrate holidays just like everyone else, if they so choose. The birth of Jesus can be celebrated by any age, with any marital status, with or without children, and at any level of social standing or economic condition. How is this not obvious? Why are offspring a requirement for the existence of holiday spirit?
The over commercialization of holidays is probably the main culprit for pushing out the relevance of single people and childless couples. Advertising is typically focused on the large and profitable traditional family setting. Don’t misunderstand this as a complaint. Economic prosperity is great for society. I’m all for it. And families and children are vital components of civilization.
All I’m asking for is the ability for childless adults to express the holiday spirit without ridicule or pity being thrown in their direction. We are not pitiful, we are merely different from you. How boring would the world be if we were all exactly the same? Be respectful and appreciative of the uniqueness that adorns the world.
I plan to keep holiday traditions alive even if such rituals are invisible to, or worse yet pitied by, the status quo. Mom’s Christmas fudge will be prepared and shared with neighbors. I will whip up a batch of hot chocolate mix perfect for sipping on a cold winter day. An eclectic blend of Christmas music will be heard playing in my home. We might even take a drive to ooh and ahh over the brilliant displays of Christmas lights.
My husband and I will bundle up and take a leisurely stroll in the crisp winter air to some of the local shops. As he enjoys sampling the holiday dips and cookies, I will look for a new addition to our holiday décor. Toes will be tapping as I quietly sing along to the Christmas music wafting through the store. I like to think that my husband enjoys this tradition with me. I hope he will look back on that memory some day and be thankful for the time spent together enjoying a holiday tradition with his best girl.
And, of course, there will be a Christmas tree in my living room even if the only “kids” in my home are of the four legged, furry variety. It’s a special time of year to be filled with joyous celebration whether you are one or many, young or old.
Originally published at Medium.com on 12-18-2018.
